Two significant conversations

In the last two weeks I've asked two professors if I could meet with them to calm some fears and concerns I've been having.

One was with my mentor, Dr. Allen Jackson, and the other was Dr. Archie England.  Dr. Jackson in the guy in Student Ministry and Dr. England is an Old Testament and Hebrew professor. These two men have had such a profound effect on my personal and spiritual life and it's difficult to explain how much I value their insights and knowledge.

In a way, I think I needed someone I respect as a spiritual leader to tell me it was okay (or, give me permission) for my heart to be devoted to Andy right now and to learn how to serve him as his new wife.  I have spent my entire adult life serving my own needs and serving the church through student ministry.  It absorbed every part of my heart and it was enjoyable to strive to teach teenagers about Christ and the plan he has for their lives.

But, after meeting Andy, I found my heart divided for the first time and felt guilty that I couldn't wait for youth activities to be over so I could spend time with him.  Then, when we moved to NOLA and I found myself not wanting to serve in the church right away, I felt guilty for not serving in the church.  I shared my concerns with Dr. Jackson and he assured me that it was perfectly normal for my heart to be devoted to my husband; that's how God designed marriage! This season in our lives is about learning to be one where before, we were two.  That is a monumental task in of itself! Dr. J assured me that my heart was in the right place and that, when I was ready, my heart would be nudged at to serve again.  What's cool is that I am learning my priorities as a person devoted to serving Christ: God > Husband > Church...in that order.

My second conversation with Dr. England was this afternoon and it dispelled a lot of questions that have arisen during conversations with Andy.  Probably for the first time in my adult life, I am being pushed to think about aspects of my faith that I have never ventured to even consider or never dared to question before.  In all honesty, my faith was a bit shaken this week when these questions arose; but Dr. England was readily available to help me wade through them and work my way back to the truth. The fun part was realizing that I knew more than I thought I did about each question but I had gotten so caught up in the emotion of it all, that the knowledge was put on the back burner.

Through the course of our conversation Dr. England repeatedly reminded me to "Go back to the text. What does the text say?" And we did; we repeatedly dug in the Word to discover what God said about each concern. It was very comforting to read God's word in such a manner!

As a result of my training in church history, Old Testament Survey, and my relationships with these two godly men I am beginning to grasp "the big picture" that is this life in Christ. It is static, ever-changing, fluid, and messy. But I am taking comfort in the knowledge that I have absolute truth in God's holy word.  No matter my situations, he has given me direction and stability in him and his son, Jesus.  THAT is my comfort. THAT is my point of reference. Anytime I look elsewhere, I sink (much like Peter!). When I set my eyes on Jesus and look to his word for guidance,I will never be swayed.  May I never lose sight of that!