Resolve

You know what, the devil is a nerd. I won’t spend too much time thinking or talking about him b/c that would give him too much power in my life but I will say that no matter what influence he may think he has in Andy’s and my lives, he is so mistaken!  We love Jesus and we are going to spend eternity with Him.  And in the meantime, we’re gonna serve Jesus here on this earth until He takes us home.

I was convicted this week that my initial fervor to pray constantly for Andy has faded as life has gone on.  I was no longer his strongest prayer warrior.  He is being attacked (as am I) and I have allowed the enemy to get a foothold by not continually lifting each of us and our marriage in prayer. But the buck stops here. I have been saying that I want to want to spend time with God but I’m just not there yet. It’s bull! It’s a lie! I NEED to spend time with him. I need to intercede for my husband, for myself, for my family, for my friends; if for no other reason that demonstrate my faith and trust in God and his workings in our lives. God does not need my prayers but He wants them as a further demonstration of my obedience and devotion to Him alone.

The scary thing is, I have been tempted to place Andy above God in my heart. I waited so long for Andy to come into my life and I have been paralyzed at times about losing him (in any shape, form, or fashion). This is a dangerous game to play. I love my husband more than anyone else on the face of this earth. But that should never come before loving Jesus. Andy told me once to let him be my mirror since my own view of my body is not positive. It is such a sweet sentiment (and another reason why there are no full-length mirrors in my home), but God laid upon my heart the need to understand that I am cherished and beautiful b/c HE made me that way. I am beautiful b/c God made me. I am cherished b/c my Maker cherishes me. This doesn’t diminish Andy’s affection and love; it SUPERCEDES it! Jesus’ opinion of me HAS to be more significant than any other’s opinion.

My resolve is now set. I need to spend time with Jesus every day. I need to lift my husband up and surrender him to Jesus every day. I need to lift my family up in intercession every day.  It could be daunting b/c my immediate family is HUGE, but it is important to lift them up every day. No more ground will be surrendered. The battle is on.