As I was downloading some apps to new-to-me phone, I began to get frustrated at the different operating system and actually started to miss my old "phone"! In that brief moment I forgot that the old "phone" made up its own mind about when I would get a call or a text, it turned off repeatedly with no warning, apps took several minutes to load, and, when it came time to transfer info to the new phone, it completely denied the professionals access to its information! And yet, despite the enormous inconvenience in that moment, I missed that "phone" because it was familiar and safe.
I found myself grumbling for a moment and then it hit me what was actually happening. The past was inconvenient, inconsistent, and unreliable; but at least I knew what to expect. The present was untested, unfamiliar, and uncomfortable; therefore, I wanted to go back.
You might be thinking, "Girl, you've got too much time on your hands. It's just a cell phone. You'll get used to it."
Well in that same moment, it occurred to me that this is how we function most of the time - we either romanticize the past and desire to go back to the familiar b/c we at least knew what to expect, or we fantasize about the future and all of its possibilities. Rarely do we exist in the present. Ironically, that is the only time period in which we are capable of existing and we do not honor it for what it is: a gift (yeah, I went there).
Author Jim Elliot once said,
“Wherever you are, be all there! Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God.”
Why do we seem incapable of living as such? Embracing each moment as they come in anticipation of how God will use us? I'm not saying that looking back on the past is bad. Nor am I saying that looking forward to the future is futile. What I am saying is that we often focus on those moments more than we focus on the present and all it has to offer.
Let me give a prime example of how I have lived this way. This summer I had a project that needed to be completed by a certain day. I had recruited some of my students to help me and they threw themselves at it enthusiastically, albeit with numerous distractions. My approach was to plow through to get the project done b/c we had a deadline. Their approach was to have fun and enjoy us all being together in the process. As my frustration mounted, a moment came when a knife slipped off the table and the tip stabbed my big toe. Understandably, they freaked out; but all I could think of was how the stabbing resulted in jerking me out of my task-oriented mindset and reminded me to just enjoy being with these wonderful kids who actually wanted to hang out and spend time with me, no matter what we were doing. They were existing in the present and I joined them there, happily (after stemming the tide of blood that was coming out of my toe!).
That "stabbing" and the moment with my new phone have served to convict this borderline-Type-A new momma/masters student/would-be writer to try and live for the present as often as I am able. The future is coming no matter what I do and the past has already happened.
My goal is striving to focus more often on the present and making those moments more intentional by "being all there" and enjoying the gifts they always present (get it;) ).
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